Routine
by Baron von Riktenstein
Summary: An AU in which Yutaka Watari may be alive and Pavel Chekov isn't in Starfleet (as it does not exist). Watari sees a Russian kid in passing every morning, who somehow becomes a larger part of his life than he'd intended. Knowledge of both unnecessary. Challenge.


An AU in which Yutaka Watari may be alive and Pavel Chekov isn't in Starfleet (as it does not exist).

* * *

The first time Yutaka Watari catches sight of this curly-haired kid, it's hardly a blip on the radar. He's gearing up for a swim in the lake when some foreign-looking—not that Watari's one to talk. Though he's full-blooded Japanese, he looks positively European—kid zips by without a word. They don't even exchange glances.

Eventually, it becomes something of a routine. Every time Watari manages to get up and take his early morning swim, this kid rushes by without uttering a word. After about seven weeks, they start to wave to each other.

Then, suddenly, he stops seeing the kid. Watari thinks it's probably just a break in routine. After all, he doesn't go swimming every day, either. Somehow, he misses that kid's presence, even if they only see each other for about six seconds at a time, and even if he doesn't know his name. A week passes without the kid, and he's worried. Two weeks pass, and he decides he needs to stop thinking the way he does.

One day, after his swim, he finds that kid sitting at a picnic table, looking out at the horizon. He's relieved, but maybe a bit more than he thinks he ought to be. This is the first time they've met outside of their routine. Since the kid initiated this instance, Watari thinks he's probably not overstepping boundaries when he asks, "may I sit with you?" The kid smiles and nods and offers him an unopened pack of peanuts. When he starts to talk, his Japanese is broken, but understandable.

They introduce themselves. The kid's name is Pavel Chekov, and if Watari has any trouble pronouncing it, Pavel doesn't seem to mind. Watari lets Pavel refer to him as Yutaka, which seems easier for him. Watari finds out that the kid's attending school in the area, and went home to visit his family in Russia for a couple of weeks. He also finds out that Pavel's seventeen years old, and set to graduate school from the University in the spring.

Watari remembers being a brilliant student, and if all the teachers didn't love him for his personality, they did appreciate his intelligence. Still, he was never quite this young and bright. He's not jealous. Just impressed.

From this point on, they meet almost daily, just as before. Even as the weather cools, they fit these meetings into their schedule. Sometimes, they even grab lunch together. Watari helps Pavel with his Japanese, and the two discuss things like physics and biology and engineering. Watari hasn't seen passion quite that strong in someone besides his friend Tsuzuki when it comes to beer and sweets. He finds it quite endearing.

It's not as much of a shock as Watari thinks it should be when his friendly feelings develop into something almost romantic. Their age difference isn't so large, he supposes, and Pavel's one of the most clever people he's had the pleasure of meeting. He also finds that through Pavel's eager and cheerful demeanor, he's surprisingly sly and occasionally sarcastic and temperamental.

Watari's an energetic man with a sunny disposition himself, He's also prone to childish fits when disturbed, and so he figures they match up pretty well. But for all of his confidence, he's not sure Pavel will take to his developing emotions too well, so he says nothing about it.

They continue to meet regularly, but Watari's doubtful he can integrate the kid into other parts of his life like he had previously hoped. So he never formally introduces him to his colleagues and never brings up the subject of family. Watari hopes he's not drifting too obviously, but he fears he might.

There's another lull in their meetings when Pavel takes a break from his runs to devote to studying more. That, at least, is the reason given, but Watari's not so sure about it.

When they meet again, Pavel's done with school and seems relieved by the lift of class stress. He invites Watari out for dinner to celebrate this so-called freedom, and ends up eating more sweets than he had anticipated. He sneaks a drink of Watari's beer and complains the vodka is better. They chat as they always have about sciences and day-to-day things and then Watari asks what his plans might be.

Pavel quiets down for a bit and seems like he might cry. He somberly mentions he's leaving Japan in a couple of weeks. Watari's not surprised until Pavel says he's not going home to Russia either. He's looked into work in America. It hadn't been his original plan, he says, but a friend mailed him about a few good offers he couldn't pass up. Watari congratulates him with a grin, and Pavel smiles back in response.

Watari realizes, not for the first time, that his time with this brilliant, wonderful person is almost up. He thinks he probably should have done something by now, but it's too late.

They walk home together and Pavel apologizes before kissing him on the lips. Watari thinks the apology is something of a formality, and less of a genuine feeling with how deeply and almost-confidently he performs the act. When Pavel pulls away with heated cheeks and turns to leave, Watari unthinkingly stops him with a light grab at his wrist. He pulls Pavel's face to his own and kisses him again.

He doesn't think about the regrets he might have about all of this when they go inside the apartment together. He doesn't think about how he's been imagining what Pavel looks naked for a while now, and he definitely doesn't think about how he'll miss this warmth when they finally touch. Most of all, he doesn't think about how it will all be worse now that they've slept together rather than his imaginings of it. Because now he realizes that if he spoke up months ago, he might have actually been able to convince Pavel to stay.

Watari wakes up with him and it's almost perfect. The sun shines through the windows and Pavel's warm against his chest. His curls are soft, and Watari's own hair is practically all around. He remembers, though, that this is temporary and tries to will away time with more sleep.

When Pavel wakes up they stay in bed silently for another hour, and it almost feels domestic. Then Watari realizes he has work today and goes to take a quick shower. When he comes out, he finds Pavel has left and his heart breaks just a little more. There's a note of apology in his kitchen, scrawled in a messy Japanese, and a promise that they can see each other again if Yutaka would like.  
For a week, Watari doesn't bother trying to meet up with Pavel, but he hates the idea of leaving things like that. So when he tracks Pavel down he vows to spend as much time with him in the remaining time as they can. He doesn't try to persuade him to stay, doesn't have the right to try and hold him back, but wants to make these last few days in his country wonderful.

"You make it sound like I am dying," Pavel jokes. Watari laughs lightly in response and apologizes. He insists he only meant that if Pavel's getting swept up in the bustle of American life, he should remember that Japan was a fun place too, and not just the country where he ran around and studied a lot.

They spend the next few days together, with Watari blissfully ignoring the fact that Pavel would be out of his life in short time. The day before he takes off, Pavel proposes that they keep in touch, but neither makes any word that they should attempt a long-distance relationship. Watari doesn't find it would be fair to tie Pavel down this way. He only supposes Pavel agrees, but maybe he's wrong.

Part of him wants desperately to spend one more night with Pavel, but he knows it's a bad idea. Part of him, perhaps an overlapping part, wants to convince Pavel to stay, but he knows it's too late. It's also terribly selfish. So he does nothing but say goodbye this last time and pretends the disappointment on Pavel's face is imagined.

He sleeps in too late to catch Pavel before his flight. He thinks for a while and wonders how big of a mistake he's made. He thinks on how much happier he'd be right now if he hadn't started waving to Pavel on his way to his morning swim every day.


End file.
